life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
this boner is exhausting
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
