There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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