Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
