I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
