Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
