They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The ass gains better be worth it
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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