how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
