why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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