His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
