wat bout pragnant strippers??
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
