dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
