i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
