It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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