I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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