I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
