I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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