you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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