So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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