on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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