That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
