I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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