I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
