Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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