dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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