Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
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