Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
