no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
