I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
A bitchslap is in order.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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