I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
