is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
