Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
