I'm eating all of the evidence.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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