i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
