Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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