I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
