I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
