There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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