I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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