Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
