I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
