Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
worst night to have a conscience
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
