It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
