do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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