i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He felt like a one man threesome
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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