You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
