I puked a lego.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
