Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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