Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
