Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
