I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
